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Ok, so I lied. I didn't invite you over here because I'm having car trouble. I invited you over because I need to know the truth . . . you see, my best friend went on a date with you last week, and she had some very interesting things to say about your . . . um . . . anatomy. She said you had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. Not just in real life either. She said you were bigger than any male porn star, too.