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Every single time you stroke there is only one ending for you and that is to clean up after your disgusting self and as a stroke addict you have a constant flow of your own cum trickling down the back of your neck remind yourself each and every time of what a lowly little loser you are.
You've gotten the taste for your own cum, maybe through your own exploration or maybe by f***e. You've grown accustomed to the taste, the texture, everything about it just seems to turn you on. Getting your cock hard and the anticipation of being able to taste your own disgusting seed again and again. A vicious circle.